I'm back in LA ya'll!! That's just the beginning of the problems though...If I ever received a job in an organization, I wouldn’t want to be a coach, trainer, secretary, or any of that. My talents are best suited as a General Manager. Hey just check my resume. My notorious reputation for ripping people off in fantasy leagues has to translate somewhat right? How about dominating computerized GM’s in NBA 2k8? No? Maybe you think my skills wouldn’t be applicable in the big leagues, but believe me, if I were running the show, I’d some how steal Dwight Howard for Malik Rose. Ok maybe not that ludicrous, but I’d have a city ready to give out free hugs, and 29 other places in the nation getting their pens handy for some hate mail!
Anyway, on to the main course, here it is owners and GMs! Your guide to fixing your crappy franchise. No need to thank me. Just put the plan in motion. We’ll get to seeing some great basketball in no time!
First up.
Mr. Donald Sterling and the Los Angeles Clippers.
One of my buddies is a huge clippers fan. I respect that. I don’t understand how they’re able to commit to such painful torture. I don’t think I’ve ever watched a full Clipper game on TV. I swear, I’ve fallen asleep every time.
No more. It’s time. It’s time for a change. Hey! Ya’ll deserve it. So let’s see where we’re at.
Current record: 23-55. Yikes.
Cap relief:
Paul Davis, Dan Dickau, Nick Fazekas, Shaun Livingston, Smush Parker, Quinton Ross: which totals: 7 million.. not bad.. not enough though.
Cap Killers:
Cuttino Mobley – 8.3 mil for 3 years... EW
Tim Thomas – 5.6 mil for 3 years... Gross
Corey Maggette – 7 mil for 2 years... serious?
Chris Kaman – 8.6 mil for 5 years... might work out.
Needs: The most important thing is to change the attitude of the franchise. You need to bring in a guy that gives the team swagger and a winning mentality. (a-la Sam Cassell). They have a great X’s and O’s coach. And two good food frontcourt players. What’s missing? One thing that they do need though, is a number one scoring option. Elton Brand is not a number one scoring option. He is one of the best number two options. He is not a superstar. (I thought they’d be perfect with Vince Carter, Allen Iverson, or Ray Allen who were all on the market before) Al Thornton does have potential to be that guy. I might wait it out with him. The two guard spots are where the Clippers lack the most. They need major help there. Is Shaun Livingston coming back? I have no clue.
Draft: They’ll likely end up with the 6th overall draft pick at their current pace which leaves them in great position to pick these two guys.
O.J. Mayo – Bear with me. OJ’s got moxie. He’s got that bad boy image. He’s gonna bring some kind of glitz and glamour to tinsel town. This dude is not the next Kobe Bryant, or LeBron James. I honestly think he’ll be the next Jamal Crawford. But it’s exactly what the Clippers need. A guy who’s not afraid to take any shot, at any moment. Who brings publicity, (any publicity is good publicity unless it’s Artest) and makes the team matter. Could he score 20 ppg his rookie year? Unlikely. But could he be an integral cog getting the Clips to the playoffs? Absolutely.
Eric Gordon - "Do-it-all combo guard. Big-time range on his jump shot.
Great shooting off the dribble. Excellent finisher at the basket. Great speed. Excellent athlete with explosive leaping ability. Good handle. NBA body. Excellent basketball IQ. Hard worker. Good, physical defender." - Chad Ford
Free Agency: If any of the free agents (sans Shaun Livingston) asks for more than 1.5 million per year, they have got to be insane. It’s like a who’s who of D-leaguers.
Shaun Livingston? He’s got potential! Oh shut up. Even if he does, he went down in one of the ugliest injuries ever. Let Miami pay him 8 million and let him go.
There is no money to make a play at a big time free agent. So gottta make some trades.
Trades: 1. Sign and Trade Shaun Livingston, Quinton Ross, Josh Powell, and an Unprotected Future First Rounder for Jose Calderon and Joey Graham.
Jose Calderon is good. He’s real good. He’s an efficient point guard developing into a really good point guard. Before he becomes really valuable, now’s the time to snatch him. Actually, he’s already gotten to that point, but his stock is still barely pre-all-star status. Yes. Josh Powell might be the next David West. Yes Shaun Livingston is talented. But he’s NOT going to be the next Magic Johnson people! Stop it with the ridiculous comparison. Jose Calderon is good now. And he’ll get the ball to Chris and Elton when they need it. Jose is disgustingly efficient. He’s a potential 50/40/90 guy. That’s right. 50% from the field, 40% from three, 90% from the line. That is disgusting. It’s exactly the type of point guard you need for a slow down half court set. Think about the lineup, Calderon, Mayo, Thornton, Brand, Kaman, Maggette. That’s deadly. For Toronto, it picks up three nice young pieces, some cap relief for an expendable but valuable piece, and getting a good pick by banking on the Clips being horrible.
2. Corey Maggette and Cuttino Mobley 2008 2nd Round Draft Pick for Vince Carter and Trenton Hassell.
The Corey Maggette era must end. It’s time to move him before he really becomes useless. Shipping him off with the salary of Cat Mobley? Awesome! What we get in return? What the hell Vince Carter? I am holding to my analysis that all the Clippers truly need is a number one scoring option. Vince Carter is a bona-fide scorer. I don’t care if you say his knees are gone; he can still get to the rim, step out and shoot. The stupidity of Lawrence Frank has honestly led to the demise of Vince Carter. How can you not run the break with Kidd, Vince and RJ? Keeping them clamped up in a half court set… shame on you Lawrence. Shame. Vince is selling at a discount price, and I think it’s time to nab him up. Will it back fire on the Clips? Possibly. But just as Shaq’s short reign in Miami boosted their franchise for a short time, I think Vince Carter can boost the Clippers ratings from 0 to a couple of guys walking around the street saying “bingo!”
Do this Donald, and I promise better days. You just have to get creative with the roster, and cross your fingers for a healthy Elton Brand. You can do it Clippers!
- Hibachi
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